All that you give and all that you deal
and all that you buy, beg, borrow or steal.
-Pink Floyd
Anyone who tells you there isn't a dark side to poker hasn't been here. By here, I mean the World Series of Poker. Now to be clear, the World Series is actually one of the brighter and lighter stops in the dark reaches of the vast poker road. But when you put all or most of the great professional poker players in one place for six or seven weeks, well there are bound to be some examples of truly desperate behavior.
Add to the thousands of players, dealers, staff and fans a large and at times articulate poker press; well, we are bound to get some reflections on the darker sides of poker. I hope we in the media are not getting too inbred but I must direct you to some insightful and very dark observations from both Dr. Pauly and the Pack-at-Pokerati. You want the dark side of poker, they will dish it up for you with wit and a wet wipe to tidy up afterwards.
On the other hand, I (the Poker Shrink) am not going to offer up a taste of darkness because you see I don't look at poker that way. I don't believe you can look at the psychology of poker and of poker players if you assume some pathology, illness, character flaw or yes, darkness. Does it exist? Certainly. But beyond the dark or perhaps right beside it there is a unique psychology to the world of poker. Yes, some or all of the lifestyle that poker requires can and does lead a few individuals to some very dark places. The list of casualties is long and will get longer. But as a wise and eloquent sage once said: "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it."
The problem, as I see it, is that very few of the victims ever take a hard, honest look at what poker is really about. Tell me if you would take this job?
Every tenth working day you get paid.
OK, nothing wrong with that ever other Friday a paycheck, sounds like a lot of jobs. But wait, that is not what I mean. You get paid every tenth working day and on the other nine you get nothing. Actually, its worse then that, on the other nine days you lose money. What the hell kind of job am I talking about? Tournament poker that's what.
Only 10% of the field, on average, get paid in a poker tournament. So nine days out of ten you not only do not make any money, you lose your buy-in. Of course, being in the top 10% will only make you a little money; if you want some real profit you have to be in the top 3% or better. So you may really only get paid one day a month.
You not only have to be good at your job, you have to be very good at it all the time.
So you have an off day at the shop, the boss didn't notice and you will be fine tomorrow. So you missed one sale, no one will ever know. But miss a hand in the tournament and you are out the door, another no-pay day. You must be better than all the other players and you must be better than them every hand, every day or you don't get paid.
Health benefits - none.
Retirement - get a real job.
Paid Vacation - no.
Sick Days - sure, you will get sick; Oh you mean paid sick days.
Colleagues - lots of them, but they are all trying to take your paycheck.
Applications taken at your local card room, all day every day. Bring cash and turn the lights out when you leave, it needs to be dark in here.
